


"It's Not Even That Bad"

by WeirdItalianPlumber



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Porn with Feelings, i guess?, not super explicit, they've been occasionally hooking up on and off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:05:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14496609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdItalianPlumber/pseuds/WeirdItalianPlumber
Summary: Dee tries to make Charlie jealous. It works.





	"It's Not Even That Bad"

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SunnyRarePairs2](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SunnyRarePairs2) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> dee was really obviously using that stripper guy to make charlie jealous in "ptsdee" and it looked like it was getting to him a bit. let's see some smut around that featuring jealous charlie and evil smirking dee.
> 
> \-----  
> I couldn't think of a good title, so I stole that suspicious line from Charlie in "PTSDee"  
> I see this as being set between 12x07, when Dee shows off Mike, and 12x08 when she makes Charlie the valentine.  
> Sorry if my writing style seems inconsistent

Dee's not sure just how they ended up in Charlie's apartment, both naked, on his futon. But at this point in life, there's a lot of holes in her memory. Especially when it comes to Charlie. Usually resulting from too much to drink or from fiery passion. This time, she knows it's the latter and that she's the one that started it. Whatever. It’s what she wanted. Who cares exactly how they got there. 

_Dee slowly pulls her shirt over her head, revealing a red lacy bra. The one Charlie's only seen a few times. Usually_ _after_ _she invites him over to her apartment, in an awkward flirty way. It's a sharp contrast to the_ _plain_ _ones he's used to taking off her whenever the weird moment strikes them and they can both sneak_ _away_ _. It takes almost no time for him to make the connection and send the message straight to his stiffening cock._  

_He's into this, for sure, but they're always going to argue._   _"You bitch! You've been planning this."_  

_"So what if I was?" Dee challenges, stepping closer. Her eyes_   _flit_ _down to the growing_ _bulge_ _in his jeans. He shifts slightly, but there's no hiding it. Her lips curl up slightly_ _, and she nods towards_ _his_ _obvious_   _erection_ _, "You gonna put that to use, or what?"_  

"Not too fat for you now, huh?" Dee smirks down at Charlie, as she grinds against him.  

He's about to ask what the hell she's talking about when he remembers the arbitration from a few weeks before. "I never said you were too fat, Dee,” he corrects, "Just, ah, just getting a little tubby. Right here." His fingers brush across her bare stomach. A featherlight touch that makes Dee involuntarily shiver, despite the half-assed insult. 

He really needs her to understand that she's always going to be pretty. He also really needs her to keep going. He wouldn't put it past her to use this as revenge. Trick him into sleeping with someone whose looks are always being insulted, get him right to the edge, then walk away leaving him with blue balls.  

"Well, you're no G.I. Joe," she retorts, placing her palms on his chest and running them lower, "He’s got abs I could crack teeth on." She doesn't touch his arms, though, they both know she's admired his biceps before. "Great chest, too." 

"Oh, you want to talk about not good chests?" Charlie asks, voice rising in pitch. 

"Please, bitch. You like them," Dee responds smugly. The guys can insult her all they want, she's caught Charlie staring enough to know the truth. It's not out of curiosity, she knows. It's something he's seen before, he's coming back for more. 

His hands slide up her sides and around to cup her breasts, slowly massaging and feeling. His eyes shine with a hunger.  _Okay_ ,  _yeah, he really does_.  

He doesn't see what's so great about stripper guy. He didn't care when she first started bragging about her latest conquest. They weren't exclusive. She could hook up with whatever losers she wanted, and he would continue to pursue the waitress. Then she called the sex meaningful and beautiful, and Charlie felt some anger bubbling. She always acts like their thing is meaningless, purely physical. Friends with benefits, she once suggested. Well, maybe the benefits he wants includes feelings, too.  

His hands return to her hips, hoping it'll keep her from leaving. Dee moans at the contact, grabbing his hand to place it where their bodies meet. He starts rubbing at her wordless instruction, and she bends down to initiate a kiss. Her own weight adding pressure to the small circuit drawn with his calloused fingers. His other hand moves to gingerly rest on the side of her face, his tongue reaching out, licking at her lips. Dee melts into the moment, running her fingers through his hair, opening her mouth wider to allow him in. She pulls back, almost reluctantly, breaking the kiss. They're here to bang, not make out. 

She sits up and starts moving again. Faster this time, no longer caring about looking sexy as she desperately moves against his fingers. "Don't fucking stop," she instructs, as she arches her back, bracketing her hands on either side of his legs.  

“Fuck, Charlie, yes!” Dee shouts as she comes, dropping her head backwards, causing her hair to tickle his thighs. Charlie doesn't stop swirling his fingers as he contently watches her body roll with every spasm tightening around his cock. Her eyes flutter open, and she leans forward to press her body against his. “Fuck, Charlie,” she repeats, almost reverently now. She rises slightly, staring intently into his eyes, then kissing him with a tenderness that only they share. 

Dee rests her head on his shoulder as they lay close, breathing in each other. She can feel his cock throbbing. He’s desperate for her, and she smirks at the thought. Dee places her lips against his ear, whispering, “Now you.”  

Charlie swallows hard and nods. Her words almost sending him over the edge right there. Instead, he rolls them both over. Dee lands on her back, with his warm weight above her. She tries not to think about what could be on the sheets that she’s now fully touching. Though, she mildly considers, it really doesn’t bother her anymore.  

Dee wraps her legs around his waist, pulling her hips flush with his, achieving that angle they both like. Charlie leans on his forearms as he rocks deep into her, while she gasps with each thrust, every nerve still heightened. With her soft warmth around him, and breathy sounds quickly pushing him  _there_ , he comes with a moan and shuddering breath. He buries his face in her neck as he lies on her, and Dee drapes her arms around him. In their close proximity, she can feel his heart beat against her own chest. 

She gives him a moment to come down from that high, before gently jerking her head to the side, “Alright, move.” He does so, landing next to her. It's silent for a moment as they lie side by side. It always is. 

"Could stripper guy do that?" Charlie questions. 

Dee sighs. As much as she'd love making him work for it, she has to give him the credit he deserves. "No," she admits,"he couldn't." 

The sex with Mike really wasn't that great. She hadn't thought much of it, except for the fact that she landed a hot stripper. Then he started crying, and Dee went with the only logical conclusion.  He's in love with her.  

It helps some, but Charlie still feels insecure. He's not sure if this means anything, if there's any meaning to what they've been doing. She's not weeping with joy or doing anything that she talked about earlier. She's acting like she always does when they're in this position. Though he's never heard her say his name like that before. All breathy, and content and happy. She sounds satisfied, but like, emotionally.  

“Is that meaningful enough for you?” Charlie asks, sounding more bitter than he planned. His head tips to the side, unable to keep from looking at her.  

He was definitely jealous. Mission accomplished. Dee grins, happy at the thought, though her voice sounds exasperated. "Goddammit, Charlie, of course it means something to me,” she finally turns to look back at him, “We've known each other since high school." 

_Good._ He’s relieved for a moment before catching onto her plan.“You were trying to make me jealous," he nearly shrieks. 

Dee kisses him again, gently, savoring the moment, unsure when they'll do this again. "Yeah, and it worked," she confirms, sitting up and dressing. She couldn’t just ask Charlie if he feels anything for her. She had to get an answer somehow.  

She takes another glance back at Charlie, at the way he's looking at her. Like she really means something. She reaches onto the sidetable, grabbing the first thing she finds, and stuffing it in her purse.  

Dee speaks first, before Charlie can protest, call her a thief or whatever insult they'll get back to using now, "You want your shit back? You'll have to come over and get it some time." 

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted them banging in Charlie’s apartment but couldn’t think of how to get them there so I went rcg’s route and decided the characters don’t really know either. 
> 
> Dee taking something wasn’t planned by her initially, it’s a sort of sign to him now that she has an answer.
> 
> I really struggled with what to use for Charlie's chest comeback. I was wavering between subpar and mediocre, but neither seemed very Charlie.
> 
> I don't so much see it as Charlie really being in love with her, but I can't imagine he'd just sleep with someone without some meaning/motivation.


End file.
